Into Darkness
by Enelya
Summary: Húrin gazes into the abyss. An angsty drabble written for 50lyrics.


**Title:** Into Darkness**  
** **Prompt: **030. _there's a beast upon my shoulder and a fiend upon my back; feel his burning breath a heaving, smoke oozing from his stack_ **Author's Notes: **Very, very angsty. This is my first fic written from Húrin's POV, and it might well be the last – his story is far too depressing. There is a slight reference to 'Silent Laughter' in this fic, but this can be read on its own without any loss of meaning. This was inspired by a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche: _'If you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.'_

Brief note about Emeldir: wife of Barahir and the mother of Beren Erchamion. After the Dagor Bragollach and the ruin of Dorthonion, she led the women and children to safety in Brethil, earning her the title 'the Man-Hearted'. She gave weapons to those who would bear them, so it's possible that Morwen knew how to use a sword.

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_…And taking Húrin back to Angband he set him in a chair of stone upon a high place of Thangorodrim, from which he could see afar the land of Hithlum in the west and the lands of Beleriand in the south. There he was bound by the power of Morgoth; and Morgoth standing beside him cursed him again and set his power upon him, so that he could not move from that place, nor die, until Morgoth should release him._

'_Sit now there,' said Morgoth, 'and look out upon the lands where evil and despair shall come upon those whom you have delivered to me. For you have dared to mock me, and have questioned the power of Melkor, Master of the fates of Arda. Therefore with my eyes you shall see, and with my ears you shall hear, and nothing shall be hidden from you.'_

– Unfinished Tales

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I wish that I sat in darkness. This place where I sit is always filled with shadows, but still I see everything so clearly – my wife and children fleeing, my land overrun, my people enslaved. Any hope of seeing my home again died long ago, but my heart was glad to see Morwen, my dear, beautiful, brave Morwen, withstand the invasion of our home for a brief time. Perhaps, like Emeldir, she might have taken up arms and ridden to war with me. We might have fought and died together, but such a kind fate was not ours.

What is this canker that eats at my soul? Once I often laughed, although I no longer remember the sound. I was mad enough to mock the darkness, and he who had silenced Lalaith now silences the rest of my family. I must have been the greatest fool in the world, to think that we might overthrow him, to think that our children might live free of his evil.

My children! I may be thought cold-hearted, but I do not think of them often. The grief and horror of their plight is too much to bear. Truly, the burden of knowledge is mine. I wept for my daughter and my son, but tears will not call them back from the dead, nor wash away the evil fate in which he snared them. Had I known such a fate would befall them, I would have submitted to the power of the Dark One rather than cause them this suffering, though I would walk in shame for the rest of my days.

_For it is my fault that they should suffer so._ It is because of me that Dor-lómin is now a land of evil men – because of me, Nargothrond is destroyed, and my mother's people live in fear of the shadow. But though the blood of many is on my hands, in my pride I have never asked for mercy. Mine is a twisted sense of honour, indeed.

But I have never asked for mercy because I believe that I will never be free of these shadows, and so pleas are of no avail. I will only escape through what I once scorned as the gift of men, but now I would welcome it gladly. Death has taken my children and most likely my wife, and so many before me. I can only hope that it will come for me soon.

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**Afternote:** Húrin was eventually released from Thangorodrim, but it brought him no joy. His final fate is not known, but it was said that he eventually reached the western shores of Belegaer, and cast himself into the sea. 


End file.
